NIAW Week- So many emotions

Thursday, April 28, 2016

This week- April 24 is National Infertility Awareness week. I have so many emotions for many reasons.

Today, after having our second scan, and everything still healthy at 7 weeks- everything is starting to soak in. I really might finally be a mom and get to hold this baby in my arms. It doesn't feel so far fetched anymore. My dreams are starting to come true and my heart is elated.

But also because it's NIAW, my instragram community is posting their stories about their struggles. I am part of an instagram community where we all share our troubles and joys in the infertility process. It's exremely comforting to know that you aren't alone. But I am also realizing that in someway- it numbs the infertility process- well maybe not numbs- but I sometimes forget that this is not normal. I feel so "normal" in this community, that I sometimes forget just how scary and sad this whole reality is.

I just watched a video that an instagram friend posted about her journey, and have been sobbing ever since. This journey is so unfair. Words can't even describe infertility and how it feels. It's an empty wound in your heart every single day. It eats away at you, and takes away your joys, while filling your soul up wiht saddness and fear.

On top of that, I found out that a co-worker's only chance at getting pregnant is through IVF. And on top of that- there's a lot of procedures and testing that will need to be done along the way to even get there. I am heart broken. She's acting strong- but I know that she feels like inside- utterly devastated and empty. On top of all of that- despeite having good careers- their insurance will cover 0%.

This week has reminded me that we really do need to do more to fight for awareness and insurance coverage for infertility. It's a disearse just like any other medical condition. It's hard enough as it is if one has insurance or the financial means to pay for it- let alone having no insurance and way of affording the tens of thousands of dollars that it costs- just to have a "chance."


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