Forecast: Mostly Sunny with a chance of Rain
For my upcoming Frozen Embryo transfer, over all, I am very optimistic. But then there are days/moments where my guard drops and my mind starts racing. I start to imagine next Christmas with a flat belly and how utterly devastated I would be. I literally tear up just thinking about that "what ifs."
I've been very good at not googling, or looking too much into things lately. Since I have already had one embryo transfer, I already know the routine. I know what to eat, what to buy, what side to lie on..what yoga moves to do. I'll be ready to go. Last time, I was already checking to make sure I was doing everything that I could.
This morning I did google, 'How to stay optimistic during IVF cycle." I came across a post about statistics. The girl has said that she had a 53% chance of her cycle working. She had realized that although there's a chance that it could not work- the chance of it working was greater.
We also are always trying to "protect ourselves." Anyone who has had a miscarriage or failed IVF cycle knows the devastation first hand and we NEVER want to be there again. But the truth is, if it happens, it happens and we are going to be just as devastated no matter what we do. If we constantly let ourselves go to that "what if" to try to protect tout own emotions, we are only robbing ourselves of the moments of joy.
I have decided that with this next transfer, I am going to remain hopeful and optimistic- the best that I can. I am going to pretend to be pregant after the transfer. If I get a positive- I'm just going to try to enjoy every moment as I know first hand how quickly that joy can be taken away.
My point of all of this is that we can never protect ourselves from the hurt of a loss. It's going to be devastating no matter what we do. And if that devastation happens, we know that it will be weeks and months before we can be hopeful again. So- let's do out best to be hopeful and positive when we have the chance to. This journey is hard enough as it is, so lets "soak in the sunny days" while we have them. For me, I have a 70% chance of it working- so although there's always a chance of "rain," I choose to focus on the sunshine.
Labels: FET, positive attitude