Day 5 Embryos

So on Wednesday, I got the call that there were 9 embryos that were at early blastocyst stage. They weren't quite hatched so they were going to watch them one more day.

We ended up getting 5 blastocysts that were all 5 BB quality. That is less than I was expecting and I was up all night just wondering and thinking about why. Now, I am completely grateful for those 5, but when your fertilized number ends up with only 1/2 in the end- that's a bit to take in! Especially since there were 9 on day 4-5.

5 is more than plenty, and 5BB is good quality- although not excellent. What I worry about the most is how many we will have left after the PGS testing. I was really hoping to have plenty to be able to do several FET cycles.  I realize though that is me thinking too far in advance. I need to focus on getting one baby now from this cycle, and kids down the road will probably come from another cycle- and that's okay. Again, it's just adjusting my mind set.

The hardest part is that we are in a study with Dr.Kaplan to test the effectiveness of PGS testing in preventing miscarriages. So we could be in test group A where all of our embryos are tested and one gets put back in. Or, group B where all but one embryo is tested, and the very best overall embryo gets put back in ( not tested). We won't be paying for the PGS testing which is awesome, the downside is that we won't know how many normal embryos we have until after the pregnancy test from the frozen embryo transfer (FET) in December.  As positive as I am about the cycle, in reality I know that the first time might not work, and even though I'll be devastated, I can handle it knowing that I will have more frozen. However not knowing until after the first transfer if I have any more normal left is hard to take in.

I put in to receive a call from my doctor to ask a few questions as to what does 5BB really mean? What causes eggs to not be "excellent" at my age of 31. What can I do differently if we ever have to do this again? Also, what does this mean for why I haven't been able to conceive naturally?

I also have a high AMH of 7.6, and high antral follicle count. I've never really been explained how that affect my conceiving naturally.  Of course I've asked Dr. Google, but I'd prefer an explanation my Dr.

"What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be."